Where have I been and whats new!

Tuesday 12th April!! My last blog update! If I have any readers left you must be totally disgusted in my lack of loyalty to the blog since then.
My apologies but I do have a very interesting update tonight, first off both myself and my partner in crime have met men! Proper, actual, real men! I know it's hard to believe but in the space of a couple of weeks we had both met men who seem to be turning out as totally amazing, nice gentlemen.
I can't update to much about AJ's without her permission but needless to say it's going VERY well.
Mine on the other hand, well I'm not holding back on the information i'm about to enter in this post.
Navy, 26 (only slightly younger), Scouser (gotta love that accent), 6ft 1 1/2 (taller), cooks, cleans, and is the one of the nicest men i've ever met. In the whirlwind 3 months we have been together we have been on holiday abroad, met both sets of in-laws, he's even passed the test of meeting my friends and surviving! I'll even go so far as to say i'll bet my bottom dollar i'll have a ring before the year is out! In fact I may go to Ladbrokes and see what odds I can get!
I thought my days of actually finding someone to settle down with had passed and I'd had the one serious relationship I was ever going to get in life but whilst it's only been 3 months it feels like years. We have so much in common, he is like the male version of me. Everything we say, think, do is the same, it's actually quite scary for others to know there is a second version of me out there but there is and i've found him!!!!
I think the blog may take a different turn now i've become a navy girlfriend (NAG) it's not quite as attractive as WAG but you have take what you get I suppose.

Just how do you cope with a man in the forces?

The longest he has been away is 3 weeks but I managed to speak to him pretty much every day as he wasn't far from land and by the miracles of mobile technology was able to communicate. Then came summer leave and we spent every single moment together, now he has has gone back and delivered the news to me that on Monday he is going away for 2 weeks, he will more than likely be on duty the weekend he gets back and then they are going away for 6-8 weeks. So it will be a minimum total of 8 weeks most of which he won't be able to phone so it will only be email communication when the computers are working. So what I would like to know is how on earth do you get through it when they go away. To go from spending so much time together to nothing is quite scary, whilst we haven't been together long I can't remember what life was like without him. How do you cope? I am dreading Monday morning, saying goodbye just for a few days is hard enough but this feels like a lifetime that we will be apart.
Bloody typical, I've met an amazing man yet he's away all the time, I've already told him I am compiling a list for when I manage to corner the captain and explain to him just what I think of the unacceptable amount of time away. I think he will keep me away at all costs now, let's face it, it's pretty likely I would actually have that conversation.

Gullible is an understatement!

Towards the end of last year my ex and I started to talk a bit more, nothing in it but he made a statement at one point that now we had gotten through the hard part we would be friends for life. I even started to think we might be, we were able to hold a conversation without me either wanting to snog his face off or cry. Well it would appear that he played me for a bit of a fool!
His lovely sister who I've known as long as i've known him is getting married this year, we still catch up, get drunk, have a laugh and get on. Sadly last time I saw her she revealed she wasn't able to invite me to her evening reception at the request of the bro (the ex).
Apparently he wouldn't be able to relax, i'm rather disappointed at this. I feel like i've been a complete fool thinking that we could ever be friends, foolishly I thought we were grown ups now and considering all the hurt and pain he caused me last year I still have the good grace to speak to him and hold an adult conversation. I've helped him out with advice on various things and really thought we had gotten past all the 'issues'. Evidently not!
I'm not interested in going to the wedding to make him feel awkward or to see my 'competition' squirm - she won. She got everything I ever wanted in speed of lightening time, and now I can't even celebrate a good friend of mines wedding because of this.
I've tried to call and text him to discuss the reasons why he has requested my presence not to be there but rather conveniently he has now chosen to ignore my calls. I feel a bit sad that he thinks it's ok to pick up a friendship with me just when he needs help with something, if this isn't the case it's certainly how it feels right now.
I really don't know what happened and why he has turned sour grapes on me, but what I do know is that sometimes he takes an interest in the blog and reading about what a miserable love life he has caused me. I'm hoping he might read this one and just maybe understand that whilst I am still on my own it's not because i'm still lusting after him, it's because i've made a choice and not just settled because I feel I have to.
Perhaps then he might rethink his decision........................

Nothing New

Well since the English version of mini me gave me the evening of my life (or not) I haven't been on any dates. I seem to have given up the search for my special someone, a friend said she thinks her someone somewhere has been hit by a bus and that's why she didn't find him. Personally I think mine got on the wrong bus and is somewhere settling for second best!
Sadly my partner in crime also lost Mr Perfect, once again all was not what it seemed and she's back on the meat market too.
Both successful woman and both unlucky in love!

Even the dating site messages have dried up, I think i've either ignored or dated everyone on it now and I'm still no closer to finding 'him'
Anyone that has shown an interest seems to blow hot and cold and I don't know whether its friendship or if it will ever be anything more.

I'm now almost halfway through my second year of being single and I'm bored! I'm bored of being single and I'm bored of looking too! Lots of weddings and lots of babies are around me this year. Well I have neither but what I do have is a very tasty bottle of disarrano, I'm off to let that keep me company!

An update actually about me!

I thought it was about time I wrote an update on my actual dating life considering this blog was started all about my experience of the dating world it's been quite a long time since I actually wrote anything about myself!

This date was actually quite a few weeks ago but I think it's too good not to write about. I'd met the guy on the wonderfully weird dating site, he looked really cute, seemed really nice and we appeared to have loads in common. We arranged to meet and I was really excited...........

It started badly as I was 20 minutes late! The dam taxi didn't turn up for ages, what an awful first impression to make!

Anyway I arrive and I'm looking around and can't see him, what I should have done is look down and I would have seen that I was faced with quite possibly the shortest man in the world! Mini me eat your heart out!

He looked nothing like his picture and I was very quickly realising I shouldn't have bothered going to the effort of looking nice!

We go into the pub and sit down (well we had to as we looked really odd together) we start chatting and not only was he the shortest but it's possible he was also the quietest man in the world! Me having downed a couple of drinks beforehand and on another glass of wine decide that I didn't really care what I said and told him he was actually the quietest man ever! He responded by saying he was afraid to speak, god this was going well. In order to salvage something of the evening I decided the only thing to do was to get drunk, and by god did I get drunk! To the point I was slurring my words and struggling to put one foot in front of the other by the end of the evening!!!!

So I go home and think I have escaped the conversation 'it's not you, it's me' (it was him but i'm not that mean) only to receive a text message which went a little something like this "Oh my god, I had an AMAZING night, I knew you were different right from the moment I saw you. I really like you and hope you like me. Please can I see you again"

Were we on the same date?????

The following day I received another text "I really missed you today" WTF! I'd only been in his life for 3 hours which I can barely remember and he missed me!

I was quite quickly realising I might actually have met my very own new stalker but no matter what I said he just wasn't getting the hint. All week long he sent txt after txt (including the classic drunk text) this was the one that finally sent me over the edge, 00:34 in the morning on a week night! I was not impressed at all with this one, and after this he certainly understood in no uncertain terms that it wasn't going to happen! He took it surprisingly well, as according to a certain social networking site status update that same afternoon he'd been out on a walk with a certain someone!

Short, Quiet and a Womaniser, I missed out on a proper catch with that one

The partner in crime over and out...... For now!

Well the wonderful lady who has been supplying me with her own fantastic dating experiences will be bowing out of the limelight for what will hopefully be for quite some time. She's met a man............................................

Her first date with what seems to be the perfect guy lasted 8, yes 8 hours!!!!!!!
The location...... IKEA in Bristol!!! What a romantic setting, but I tell you what, after this I think I might take myself up there and hang around the entrance seeing what hot single totty wonders on through.

They have now had 3 dates and this guy just seems to be getting better and better, below a quote from our lovely ex dating companion.

"He makes my heart skip a beat and gives me massive exciting butterflys when I see him but you know me I don't show him any of this (good girl, play it cool)! I have been completly surprised by him and I think for the mean time I have had my faith restored in mankind just maybe there is the odd good guy but we will see"

I'm soooooooooooo pleased for the lovely lady and really hope this one's for keeps for her.

I have enquired whether there any single exact copies of this amazing, too good to be true man alas I think he's a one off!

Another prime example!

My partner in crime has provided me with another prime example of just what we are working with! This is not her own experience but that of a friends, the blog material is coming in from all over the world now so keep them coming (ok maybe not the world but it sounds good doesn't it)

The friend had been single for a while and wasn't really interested in men but she decided to put herself on a dating website...she got chatting to this guy that she liked and they swapped numbers etc and orgainsed a date as you do.
For the date they spent the day together, he picked her up in the morning and they went to he zoo, had lunch and went on to play crazy golf..They had a fab day and she didnt get home until about 9pm, brave girl - an all day date!
They carried on talking and texting all week and she was meant to go down to Cornwall to stay with him for the weekend, everything appeared to be going very well, flowing as it should do then on the Friday she got a text (a classic get out, no call or face to face but a god dam text) saying " hi ya I really need to tell you something, I am gunna have to cancel the weekend, I am not one to date 2 people at the same time and I have had to make a choice and its not you" The cheating so and so couldn't even be bothered to give her the time of day to spell the words properly!!!!

This just re-inforces every single doubt I have about the male species and meeting someone new. It actually frightens me that people are so different to my ex! Everything I knew and felt comfortable with gone, and in it's place a feeling of uncertainty and lack of trust. Wonderful!

Set the Standard

I'm still enraged about the short aussie man but thought I would update the blog with a rather comical moment from my female partner in crime. On the well known free dating website she received the message below.

"Hey this is random but there is a logical reason I ask.

If you long term boyfriend told you his ultimate fantasy would be for you to wank another guy off with your feet, would you do it with a guy u knew had a thing for your feet if you knew your boyfriend really wanted you too?

You are gorgeous by the way"

This ladies and gents is the standard we are working with! His very first opening message to a complete stranger was the above!!! Dear god i've lost all hope, did he think by adding 'your gorgeous' on the end he would redeem himself from the weirdness he had written above!!

Oh and on another note, also from the same website I received a message just this evening

"My 9 inches is getting harder by the second, want to be here and play with me?"

Need I say more!!!!!!!

It's all about me!

Why are men so small minded and shallow!!!!

I was meeting this guy for a few weeks, he seemed really keen, always asking for another date and to be honest I wasn't particularly fussed. He was a bit short, australian and kept saying 'crikey' and 'strewth' way to much but I thought I'd give him a chance as I keep finding faults in men and just needed to see how it went. Anyway after seeing him last night and him lining up not 1 but 2 further dates with me I then receive a text today saying he wasn't sure about seeing me again! Nice way to do it by the way, over text, nice and easy, the cowards way out - lovely!

Anyway when I asked why, the answer I received went along the lines of ' I don't mean this horribly, just being realistic. You have a kid! I don't want to take that on and need some time to think!'

Sorry ya flamin galah but you knew I had one before you even met me! Plus if you don't want to take that on what do you need to think about????? Tell you what decision taken away from you - SEE YA!!!!!!!!

I should have realised a single man, never married or anything at the age of 34 was single for a reason! Forget the shrimps, throw him on the flamin barbie!

I understand having a child is different from the old 'boy meets girl, boy kisses girl, boy and girl get married, boy and girl have babies' but we are in a modern day and age where it's not unusual to have a baby or a divorce under you belt by the time your 21!

I agree the Vicky Pollard stereotypical single mum does still exist but in a small minority of the single mum population. I am very proud of the fact I went back to work when my son was 4 weeks old and have worked full time ever since! I have a good job, have worked my way up and have my own money and my own place. I don't rely on handouts from anybody, I never have and I never will! I didn't enter this dating world to find a meal ticket or someone who will play dad to my son, I provide everything my son needs and wants and don't need a man to do this for me.

I entered the dating world for me and me only, I want someone to love me. This is the only selfish thing I ask, just to have somebody for me but no apparently that can't happen. If I have a child, automatically that means I don't work, I don't own anything of my own and think all men are just a cash machine!!!!!

Well wake up men and realise we are not living in a sexist world anymore where only man can earn money and women must stay home all day long! Not all single mums are out to fill their wardrobes or shoe rack on your wages!!!!! It's about time some of you realised that actually us single mums are different to the kappa tracksuit, breeding machine that is Vicky Pollard!!!!!

The Forbidden Fruit.................

Another night out, another night going home to an empty bed!

However it was a good night, even if there were no eligible batchelors around. I had a few surprises such as my mates boss being a complete sex pest and how that man does not have cases for sexual harrasment brought against him I will never know!

Also up there at the top of the list was a secret crush confession from probably the last person I would have ever expected to hear it from. My jaw actually hit the floor when that little bombshell was dropped. Never ever did I think I would attract someone like this, quite possibly one of the nicest genuine blokes i've ever met, kind, considerate, thoughtful, very hot! But sadly completley untouchable, the forbidden fruit that you would love to get a bite of but would never dare. Although should the divorce happen then i'd definately offer him a shoulder to cry on!

This has actually given me a better feeling about myself, I have been feeling a bit low recently, in my head i'm screaming 'what's wrong with me' as I never imagined it would be this difficult to find someone. I'm no size 0 and certainly don't paint a pretty picture this morning with a hangover but I do make an effort and don't think I'm ugly yet I cannot find that special someone.

I went on a date recently to discover the guy was on probation! This is the standard I have to work with, I don't seem to attract anyone decent or who at least doesn't have a crimincal record! But thanks to the confession last night I actually know this is now not the case, just got to find a single one! So whilst I am still single I thank hot guy for restoring me with a bit of confidence........... the hunt is back on............................

Hard to Get

If anyone knows of a love spell that actually works can you please pass it my way!

I'm willing to try lotions and potions, I'll even get myself a cauldron if I need one to produce something to help me win over this bad boy!

*sigh* i'm completely and utterley besotted with someone I can't have. Not for the want of trying I might add, perhaps I want him more because I know I can't have him, but I think I would ask how high if he said jump.

But sadly he just isn't interested and there doesn't seem to be anything I can do to change that.

Never thought someone would have this effect on me since 'the ex' , people say forget him, there's plenty more fish in the sea, but this little fish has stopped me looking for any others.

So, spells, crystals, voodoo dolls pass them my way. I simply cannot let this one get away!

Dating from a male point of view

This new information was just too good to wait, so you lucky lucky people get 2 updates in one evening!

As you are aware I already have a female partner in crime when it comes to dating but how exciting would it be if I had a male on side too. Well people I have managed to recruit one!

In the previous post I have pointed out how the male population can let themselves down but I have new information that proves us woman are just as bad!

This smooth talking son of a gun joined up to a dating site, and had 192 hits in 24 hours and 10 messages! I need to get me on that site!

Anyway his first meeting came from one of these 10 lucky ladies and the review of the date goes a little something like this

"i met one for coffee and now she's stalking me ,,,,,says everytime she speaks to me on the fone and thinks of me she gets wet knickers........"

I am as disappointed in this female trying to give it all away after one date, as I was with the optician who sold Deirdre Barlow those glasses!

This is the sort of standard myself and my 2 single friends are working with now! I fear a life of singledom is becoming more real by the second!

All in the name of research!

My new partner in crime for the dating world has jumped on the bandwagon of dating sites and got herself registered - all in the name of research of course!

We worked together for a catchy headline to her lonely hearts.........

"THE LIGHT IS ON.............SINGLE MAN.......REVEAL YOURSELF"

You will (hopefully) recognise this rather catchy line from a brilliant TV show, which I have a slightly worrying obsession with, to the point I even applied to go on there! I never heard anything back regarding my application, clearly they knew the light would never be off, therefore defeating the point of the game! Let the Juggler................see the balls!

Anyway, within 8 minutes of registering on the website she had received 2 messages, within 15 minutes we were up to 10! Surely Mr Right has got be in there somewhere hasn't he?

NOOOOOOOOOOOOO, she wittled it down to 2 hopefuls, unfortunately after a few emails back and forth they too got deleted. One had the conversation skills of a mute monk and the other, after being told he had put a smile on her face replied with the ever so classy "I am glad I have put a smile on ya face, if you want something else on ya face just let me know"

Unfortunately for men folk some of the people on these sites do let the male population down in a rather spectacular fashion. Why on earth do you think that's what woman want to hear??

My personal favourite was the description she gave me of this one,

"I have also had one who looks so scarey and basicly admited on his profile that he will treat u like shit, would rather go to the pub and snort cocane off ya stomach than go shopping....."

What are you waiting for Mrs, that one sounds like a real catch!

Still single...................

No the lack of posts recently are not because I'm being wined and dined by the love of my life, it's simply because life has been hectic. Not for love reasons more's the pity!

I've had a couple of dates, but nothing serious to come from them. For various reasons I can't even write about them so i've decided to include some dating fiasco's my friend has had recently.

Now my friend's dating life is slowly but surely becoming as tragic as mine! First date, she meets a guy on New Year's Eve and scores herself a kiss at midnight. He's all over her, but good girl there was no putting out on the first night. So after this they txt and then all of a sudden nothing! He told a mutual friend that he isn't interested in a one night stand and wants to settle down blah blah blah yet because she didn't want to go home with him apparently that means she is only after a one night stand!!! Make sense man!!!!!

Her second date................... A friend she has known from years ago, they arrange for him to come round on a Saturday night, food, alcohol and he will be staying!! Now normally when you have been flirting with a guy, then you arrange a cosy night in with alcohol and for him to stay over, that can only mean one thing! Well they have a nice evening, drink, have fun and then he gets into her bed.............................. fully clothed!!!!!!!!! Yep thats right, facing the opposite way, fully clothed with no sign of the jeans coming off even when asked!


I don't get it? If you don't want to get it on with a girl, why show all the signs that your going to be making her Saturday night and then nothing!

We have both been seriously single for way to long! I have loads of weddings to go to this year without even so much as a sniff of a plus one on the horizon. We are both pretty attractive girls, good jobs and independant, yet nothing! Perhaps our standards are too high, I just do not know why our love lives are so tragic. If you know where we are going wrong please feel free to advise, all comments greatly appreciated!