Right people tonight I have the found the answer!! I need to get me a hobby!!!
One of my very dear friends has finally found the love of her life, now when I say finally I don't mean she has been left on the shelf with the reduced sticker on for what would be a serious health and safety breach, she has just been a little bit picky when it comes to the men folk!!!
The place - a roller skating marathon (Believe people, believe)!! Yes she is an adult, and yes this is the truth. Happily skating along minding her own business when all of a sudden he noticed her £45 roller disco skates and it was love at first sight for both of them. Ok when I say minding her own busines, what I actually mean is she was like a meercat on wheels, almost falling over her own feet with every man that skated past!
Here we are 3 1/2 wks into her new found love of mankind and he's already suggesting consulting her when he remortgages!!
Seriously if I had known the way to a man's heart was through a pair of roller skates I would have upgraded to roller blades and been entering the skating olympics by now. However, at the tender age of 27 I feel that I may be too old to learn this wonderful sport, so I need to find me a hobby that will bring the men to me in droves, but what one?????
My new found love guru who shall be referred to only as the black widow offers me these top tips
* Make him feel more important than your friends by texting or facebooking on your phone the entire night when your meant to be out with them
* Bribe any kids involved with sweets, or fizzy drinks
* Move personal possessions into their home whilst they are out
* Persuade them they did ask you to move in whilst under the influence of alcohol (secretly you buy them doubles)
* Visit the mother in law without them!
* Spend your entire life savings on their birthday presents, when their birthday happens to be only 3 weeks after meeting!
I know where I have been going wrong, forget playing it cool, forget not scaring them off, just go in for the kill and ask them to marry me in the very first text!
The other friend who was with me when being taught this valuable lesson has suggested I enrol on a massage course, now that sounds like a hobby that could come in handy, every man likes a massage! So my future love interests you could get lucky and have me rub lots of oil into you and get those knots out!
The black widow has just piped up with pole dancing, seriously this girl is on a role! Don't ever leave me black widow, I need you to stay with me and teach me everything you know!!!!!
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