The Dating Game

Devastation at it's best

2012-01-15T09:11:00.000-08:00

I think this may well be the saddest blog update I have ever written!

My last post back in August informed you all I had met the most wonderful man a girl could ever hope to meet. How wrong I was............

All the promises of marriage, babies, never going to leave me didn't come to fruition. In fact he completly lived up to the navy tales of a girl in every port, living a double life blah blah blah.

Let me say first of all this man was the ultimate love of my life, I fell hook, line and sinker. He was kind, considerate, caring, passionate, no man has ever made me feel how he made me feel and probably never will again. He was, and still in my eyes is, amazing, even after everything he has said and done I know that he is all I want.

Let me take you back to the beginning............. the first 5 months of this relationship were all a girl could ask for, a man that whisked you off your feet, made you feel like so special, so loved, all was perfect. Promises of marriage etc and then he went on tour.........

Newcastle was the last leg of the tour, the last week of October 2011. It was always a worry, people like to wind you up when you have a bloke in the forces, but even so I trusted him implicitly. Apparently 34% of men cheat on their partners if they visit Newcastle, but not my man, surely not?! How wrong was I!!

A girl who not mistakenly could be taken for Miss Piggy without the sweet innocent voice came into his life and made our relationship take a completely different route. You may think "what a mug" with the next part of this post, but I have known since the week he came home, back in November that he hadn't been faithful, yet I chose to ignore it. I chose to think it was just one kiss and nothing else, I knew it wasn't but hey if you choose to be with someone in the forces you kinda have to expect something like this (apparently).

What I didn't know is that she isn't the only one! This all came out last night when he decided he couldn't trust himself anymore. Not forgetting that only last week he met this dirty geordie temptress and kissed her again! But of course, she has nothing to do with this feeling! Not even when I waved him off on his 'lads night out' last week knowing exactly what he was about to do and who he was about to meet did I face facts that the love of my life was actually a heartbreaking liar who really couldn't give a shit that he was smashing my heart to pieces. But then I find out that he has kissed yet another girl but this time in my home town! Why do men not understand that when you lie to someone who you have spent some much time with they can tell!!!!!!!!!!!!! He even tried to lie about all of it again last night! Sorry hun but you can't lie for shit!

Can I just give those of you who can't keep it in your pants some advice, if you going to cheat follow these tips:

1) Do not advise your girlfriend you have been tempted and got their phone number

2) Do not add the girl in question to your social networking profile (even when the low moraled, dirty alley cat has a boyfriend)

3) Do not give out your phone number

4) Make it a one night thing, who the hell thinks they can meet and carry on an affair with someone! YOUR ALWAYS GOING TO GET CAUGHT!

There are a lot more clues, hints, tips I could give you but I think those of you who get up to this sort of behaviour probably can't read past the number 4 so I kept it brief.

Women are clever, much more than men give us credit for. How dare a man think he can insult our intelligence by thinking I wouldn't notice. No woman who loves their man would not notice a difference.

Now you would think that when a girl finds out that the love of her life is a cheating rat that she would be in floods of tears all the time wouldn't you? Nope, the only time i've cried is when I confronted him about the first time, which was about 6-7 weeks after I found out. Then today, wow the flood gates have well and truly opened to the point where I don't think there is a drop of fluid left in my body to cry out!

I always imagined that when this eventually came out that I knew, that this blog post would be a masterpiece, something that would really name and shame him. But now when it's actually happened I just can't say anything other than how disappointed and devastated I am. Revenge is sweet but I just don't think it would make me feel better at the moment.

Whilst this blog was started because I was getting over my long term ex, with him I think the devastation was more I would miss the habit, my normal would never be normal again. Yet with this one, I am devastated because I'll miss the person, I have never got on with or loved anyone the way I loved him. Even after knowing that he has cheated on me not once, not twice but three times, if he knocked on the door now I would welcome him with open arms.

Your reading this thinking, "where on earth has Sue gone", "Sue why haven't you punched him in the face like you would normally", "Sue, what would you say to your friends if this was one of them" - the answer is quite simple really,

I love him........... more than anyone could ever imagine..............

Where have I been and whats new!

2011-08-31T14:52:00.000-07:00

Tuesday 12th April!! My last blog update! If I have any readers left you must be totally disgusted in my lack of loyalty to the blog since then.
My apologies but I do have a very interesting update tonight, first off both myself and my partner in crime have met men! Proper, actual, real men! I know it's hard to believe but in the space of a couple of weeks we had both met men who seem to be turning out as totally amazing, nice gentlemen.
I can't update to much about AJ's without her permission but needless to say it's going VERY well.
Mine on the other hand, well I'm not holding back on the information i'm about to enter in this post.
Navy, 26 (only slightly younger), Scouser (gotta love that accent), 6ft 1 1/2 (taller), cooks, cleans, and is the one of the nicest men i've ever met. In the whirlwind 3 months we have been together we have been on holiday abroad, met both sets of in-laws, he's even passed the test of meeting my friends and surviving! I'll even go so far as to say i'll bet my bottom dollar i'll have a ring before the year is out! In fact I may go to Ladbrokes and see what odds I can get!
I thought my days of actually finding someone to settle down with had passed and I'd had the one serious relationship I was ever going to get in life but whilst it's only been 3 months it feels like years. We have so much in common, he is like the male version of me. Everything we say, think, do is the same, it's actually quite scary for others to know there is a second version of me out there but there is and i've found him!!!!
I think the blog may take a different turn now i've become a navy girlfriend (NAG) it's not quite as attractive as WAG but you have take what you get I suppose.

Just how do you cope with a man in the forces?

The longest he has been away is 3 weeks but I managed to speak to him pretty much every day as he wasn't far from land and by the miracles of mobile technology was able to communicate. Then came summer leave and we spent every single moment together, now he has has gone back and delivered the news to me that on Monday he is going away for 2 weeks, he will more than likely be on duty the weekend he gets back and then they are going away for 6-8 weeks. So it will be a minimum total of 8 weeks most of which he won't be able to phone so it will only be email communication when the computers are working. So what I would like to know is how on earth do you get through it when they go away. To go from spending so much time together to nothing is quite scary, whilst we haven't been together long I can't remember what life was like without him. How do you cope? I am dreading Monday morning, saying goodbye just for a few days is hard enough but this feels like a lifetime that we will be apart.
Bloody typical, I've met an amazing man yet he's away all the time, I've already told him I am compiling a list for when I manage to corner the captain and explain to him just what I think of the unacceptable amount of time away. I think he will keep me away at all costs now, let's face it, it's pretty likely I would actually have that conversation.

Gullible is an understatement!

2011-04-12T13:57:00.000-07:00

Towards the end of last year my ex and I started to talk a bit more, nothing in it but he made a statement at one point that now we had gotten through the hard part we would be friends for life. I even started to think we might be, we were able to hold a conversation without me either wanting to snog his face off or cry. Well it would appear that he played me for a bit of a fool!
His lovely sister who I've known as long as i've known him is getting married this year, we still catch up, get drunk, have a laugh and get on. Sadly last time I saw her she revealed she wasn't able to invite me to her evening reception at the request of the bro (the ex).
Apparently he wouldn't be able to relax, i'm rather disappointed at this. I feel like i've been a complete fool thinking that we could ever be friends, foolishly I thought we were grown ups now and considering all the hurt and pain he caused me last year I still have the good grace to speak to him and hold an adult conversation. I've helped him out with advice on various things and really thought we had gotten past all the 'issues'. Evidently not!
I'm not interested in going to the wedding to make him feel awkward or to see my 'competition' squirm - she won. She got everything I ever wanted in speed of lightening time, and now I can't even celebrate a good friend of mines wedding because of this.
I've tried to call and text him to discuss the reasons why he has requested my presence not to be there but rather conveniently he has now chosen to ignore my calls. I feel a bit sad that he thinks it's ok to pick up a friendship with me just when he needs help with something, if this isn't the case it's certainly how it feels right now.
I really don't know what happened and why he has turned sour grapes on me, but what I do know is that sometimes he takes an interest in the blog and reading about what a miserable love life he has caused me. I'm hoping he might read this one and just maybe understand that whilst I am still on my own it's not because i'm still lusting after him, it's because i've made a choice and not just settled because I feel I have to.
Perhaps then he might rethink his decision........................

Nothing New

2011-03-31T12:51:00.000-07:00

Well since the English version of mini me gave me the evening of my life (or not) I haven't been on any dates. I seem to have given up the search for my special someone, a friend said she thinks her someone somewhere has been hit by a bus and that's why she didn't find him. Personally I think mine got on the wrong bus and is somewhere settling for second best!
Sadly my partner in crime also lost Mr Perfect, once again all was not what it seemed and she's back on the meat market too.
Both successful woman and both unlucky in love!

Even the dating site messages have dried up, I think i've either ignored or dated everyone on it now and I'm still no closer to finding 'him'
Anyone that has shown an interest seems to blow hot and cold and I don't know whether its friendship or if it will ever be anything more.

I'm now almost halfway through my second year of being single and I'm bored! I'm bored of being single and I'm bored of looking too! Lots of weddings and lots of babies are around me this year. Well I have neither but what I do have is a very tasty bottle of disarrano, I'm off to let that keep me company!

An update actually about me!

2011-03-23T14:50:00.000-07:00

I thought it was about time I wrote an update on my actual dating life considering this blog was started all about my experience of the dating world it's been quite a long time since I actually wrote anything about myself!

This date was actually quite a few weeks ago but I think it's too good not to write about. I'd met the guy on the wonderfully weird dating site, he looked really cute, seemed really nice and we appeared to have loads in common. We arranged to meet and I was really excited...........

It started badly as I was 20 minutes late! The dam taxi didn't turn up for ages, what an awful first impression to make!

Anyway I arrive and I'm looking around and can't see him, what I should have done is look down and I would have seen that I was faced with quite possibly the shortest man in the world! Mini me eat your heart out!

He looked nothing like his picture and I was very quickly realising I shouldn't have bothered going to the effort of looking nice!

We go into the pub and sit down (well we had to as we looked really odd together) we start chatting and not only was he the shortest but it's possible he was also the quietest man in the world! Me having downed a couple of drinks beforehand and on another glass of wine decide that I didn't really care what I said and told him he was actually the quietest man ever! He responded by saying he was afraid to speak, god this was going well. In order to salvage something of the evening I decided the only thing to do was to get drunk, and by god did I get drunk! To the point I was slurring my words and struggling to put one foot in front of the other by the end of the evening!!!!

So I go home and think I have escaped the conversation 'it's not you, it's me' (it was him but i'm not that mean) only to receive a text message which went a little something like this "Oh my god, I had an AMAZING night, I knew you were different right from the moment I saw you. I really like you and hope you like me. Please can I see you again"

Were we on the same date?????

The following day I received another text "I really missed you today" WTF! I'd only been in his life for 3 hours which I can barely remember and he missed me!

I was quite quickly realising I might actually have met my very own new stalker but no matter what I said he just wasn't getting the hint. All week long he sent txt after txt (including the classic drunk text) this was the one that finally sent me over the edge, 00:34 in the morning on a week night! I was not impressed at all with this one, and after this he certainly understood in no uncertain terms that it wasn't going to happen! He took it surprisingly well, as according to a certain social networking site status update that same afternoon he'd been out on a walk with a certain someone!

Short, Quiet and a Womaniser, I missed out on a proper catch with that one

The partner in crime over and out...... For now!

2011-03-14T14:58:00.000-07:00

Well the wonderful lady who has been supplying me with her own fantastic dating experiences will be bowing out of the limelight for what will hopefully be for quite some time. She's met a man............................................

Her first date with what seems to be the perfect guy lasted 8, yes 8 hours!!!!!!!
The location...... IKEA in Bristol!!! What a romantic setting, but I tell you what, after this I think I might take myself up there and hang around the entrance seeing what hot single totty wonders on through.

They have now had 3 dates and this guy just seems to be getting better and better, below a quote from our lovely ex dating companion.

"He makes my heart skip a beat and gives me massive exciting butterflys when I see him but you know me I don't show him any of this (good girl, play it cool)! I have been completly surprised by him and I think for the mean time I have had my faith restored in mankind just maybe there is the odd good guy but we will see"

I'm soooooooooooo pleased for the lovely lady and really hope this one's for keeps for her.

I have enquired whether there any single exact copies of this amazing, too good to be true man alas I think he's a one off!

Another prime example!

2011-03-14T14:43:00.000-07:00

My partner in crime has provided me with another prime example of just what we are working with! This is not her own experience but that of a friends, the blog material is coming in from all over the world now so keep them coming (ok maybe not the world but it sounds good doesn't it)

The friend had been single for a while and wasn't really interested in men but she decided to put herself on a dating website...she got chatting to this guy that she liked and they swapped numbers etc and orgainsed a date as you do.
For the date they spent the day together, he picked her up in the morning and they went to he zoo, had lunch and went on to play crazy golf..They had a fab day and she didnt get home until about 9pm, brave girl - an all day date!
They carried on talking and texting all week and she was meant to go down to Cornwall to stay with him for the weekend, everything appeared to be going very well, flowing as it should do then on the Friday she got a text (a classic get out, no call or face to face but a god dam text) saying " hi ya I really need to tell you something, I am gunna have to cancel the weekend, I am not one to date 2 people at the same time and I have had to make a choice and its not you" The cheating so and so couldn't even be bothered to give her the time of day to spell the words properly!!!!

This just re-inforces every single doubt I have about the male species and meeting someone new. It actually frightens me that people are so different to my ex! Everything I knew and felt comfortable with gone, and in it's place a feeling of uncertainty and lack of trust. Wonderful!

Set the Standard

2011-03-03T12:44:00.000-08:00

I'm still enraged about the short aussie man but thought I would update the blog with a rather comical moment from my female partner in crime. On the well known free dating website she received the message below.

"Hey this is random but there is a logical reason I ask.

If you long term boyfriend told you his ultimate fantasy would be for you to wank another guy off with your feet, would you do it with a guy u knew had a thing for your feet if you knew your boyfriend really wanted you too?

You are gorgeous by the way"

This ladies and gents is the standard we are working with! His very first opening message to a complete stranger was the above!!! Dear god i've lost all hope, did he think by adding 'your gorgeous' on the end he would redeem himself from the weirdness he had written above!!

Oh and on another note, also from the same website I received a message just this evening

"My 9 inches is getting harder by the second, want to be here and play with me?"

Need I say more!!!!!!!

It's all about me!

2011-03-02T14:56:00.000-08:00

Why are men so small minded and shallow!!!!

I was meeting this guy for a few weeks, he seemed really keen, always asking for another date and to be honest I wasn't particularly fussed. He was a bit short, australian and kept saying 'crikey' and 'strewth' way to much but I thought I'd give him a chance as I keep finding faults in men and just needed to see how it went. Anyway after seeing him last night and him lining up not 1 but 2 further dates with me I then receive a text today saying he wasn't sure about seeing me again! Nice way to do it by the way, over text, nice and easy, the cowards way out - lovely!

Anyway when I asked why, the answer I received went along the lines of ' I don't mean this horribly, just being realistic. You have a kid! I don't want to take that on and need some time to think!'

Sorry ya flamin galah but you knew I had one before you even met me! Plus if you don't want to take that on what do you need to think about????? Tell you what decision taken away from you - SEE YA!!!!!!!!

I should have realised a single man, never married or anything at the age of 34 was single for a reason! Forget the shrimps, throw him on the flamin barbie!

I understand having a child is different from the old 'boy meets girl, boy kisses girl, boy and girl get married, boy and girl have babies' but we are in a modern day and age where it's not unusual to have a baby or a divorce under you belt by the time your 21!

I agree the Vicky Pollard stereotypical single mum does still exist but in a small minority of the single mum population. I am very proud of the fact I went back to work when my son was 4 weeks old and have worked full time ever since! I have a good job, have worked my way up and have my own money and my own place. I don't rely on handouts from anybody, I never have and I never will! I didn't enter this dating world to find a meal ticket or someone who will play dad to my son, I provide everything my son needs and wants and don't need a man to do this for me.

I entered the dating world for me and me only, I want someone to love me. This is the only selfish thing I ask, just to have somebody for me but no apparently that can't happen. If I have a child, automatically that means I don't work, I don't own anything of my own and think all men are just a cash machine!!!!!

Well wake up men and realise we are not living in a sexist world anymore where only man can earn money and women must stay home all day long! Not all single mums are out to fill their wardrobes or shoe rack on your wages!!!!! It's about time some of you realised that actually us single mums are different to the kappa tracksuit, breeding machine that is Vicky Pollard!!!!!

The Forbidden Fruit.................

2011-01-30T05:17:00.000-08:00

Another night out, another night going home to an empty bed!

However it was a good night, even if there were no eligible batchelors around. I had a few surprises such as my mates boss being a complete sex pest and how that man does not have cases for sexual harrasment brought against him I will never know!

Also up there at the top of the list was a secret crush confession from probably the last person I would have ever expected to hear it from. My jaw actually hit the floor when that little bombshell was dropped. Never ever did I think I would attract someone like this, quite possibly one of the nicest genuine blokes i've ever met, kind, considerate, thoughtful, very hot! But sadly completley untouchable, the forbidden fruit that you would love to get a bite of but would never dare. Although should the divorce happen then i'd definately offer him a shoulder to cry on!

This has actually given me a better feeling about myself, I have been feeling a bit low recently, in my head i'm screaming 'what's wrong with me' as I never imagined it would be this difficult to find someone. I'm no size 0 and certainly don't paint a pretty picture this morning with a hangover but I do make an effort and don't think I'm ugly yet I cannot find that special someone.

I went on a date recently to discover the guy was on probation! This is the standard I have to work with, I don't seem to attract anyone decent or who at least doesn't have a crimincal record! But thanks to the confession last night I actually know this is now not the case, just got to find a single one! So whilst I am still single I thank hot guy for restoring me with a bit of confidence........... the hunt is back on............................

Hard to Get

2011-01-30T04:41:00.000-08:00

If anyone knows of a love spell that actually works can you please pass it my way!

I'm willing to try lotions and potions, I'll even get myself a cauldron if I need one to produce something to help me win over this bad boy!

*sigh* i'm completely and utterley besotted with someone I can't have. Not for the want of trying I might add, perhaps I want him more because I know I can't have him, but I think I would ask how high if he said jump.

But sadly he just isn't interested and there doesn't seem to be anything I can do to change that.

Never thought someone would have this effect on me since 'the ex' , people say forget him, there's plenty more fish in the sea, but this little fish has stopped me looking for any others.

So, spells, crystals, voodoo dolls pass them my way. I simply cannot let this one get away!

Dating from a male point of view

2011-01-25T14:33:00.000-08:00

This new information was just too good to wait, so you lucky lucky people get 2 updates in one evening!

As you are aware I already have a female partner in crime when it comes to dating but how exciting would it be if I had a male on side too. Well people I have managed to recruit one!

In the previous post I have pointed out how the male population can let themselves down but I have new information that proves us woman are just as bad!

This smooth talking son of a gun joined up to a dating site, and had 192 hits in 24 hours and 10 messages! I need to get me on that site!

Anyway his first meeting came from one of these 10 lucky ladies and the review of the date goes a little something like this

"i met one for coffee and now she's stalking me ,,,,,says everytime she speaks to me on the fone and thinks of me she gets wet knickers........"

I am as disappointed in this female trying to give it all away after one date, as I was with the optician who sold Deirdre Barlow those glasses!

This is the sort of standard myself and my 2 single friends are working with now! I fear a life of singledom is becoming more real by the second!

All in the name of research!

2011-01-25T12:00:00.000-08:00

My new partner in crime for the dating world has jumped on the bandwagon of dating sites and got herself registered - all in the name of research of course!

We worked together for a catchy headline to her lonely hearts.........

"THE LIGHT IS ON.............SINGLE MAN.......REVEAL YOURSELF"

You will (hopefully) recognise this rather catchy line from a brilliant TV show, which I have a slightly worrying obsession with, to the point I even applied to go on there! I never heard anything back regarding my application, clearly they knew the light would never be off, therefore defeating the point of the game! Let the Juggler................see the balls!

Anyway, within 8 minutes of registering on the website she had received 2 messages, within 15 minutes we were up to 10! Surely Mr Right has got be in there somewhere hasn't he?

NOOOOOOOOOOOOO, she wittled it down to 2 hopefuls, unfortunately after a few emails back and forth they too got deleted. One had the conversation skills of a mute monk and the other, after being told he had put a smile on her face replied with the ever so classy "I am glad I have put a smile on ya face, if you want something else on ya face just let me know"

Unfortunately for men folk some of the people on these sites do let the male population down in a rather spectacular fashion. Why on earth do you think that's what woman want to hear??

My personal favourite was the description she gave me of this one,

"I have also had one who looks so scarey and basicly admited on his profile that he will treat u like shit, would rather go to the pub and snort cocane off ya stomach than go shopping....."

What are you waiting for Mrs, that one sounds like a real catch!

Still single...................

2011-01-23T06:58:00.001-08:00

No the lack of posts recently are not because I'm being wined and dined by the love of my life, it's simply because life has been hectic. Not for love reasons more's the pity!

I've had a couple of dates, but nothing serious to come from them. For various reasons I can't even write about them so i've decided to include some dating fiasco's my friend has had recently.

Now my friend's dating life is slowly but surely becoming as tragic as mine! First date, she meets a guy on New Year's Eve and scores herself a kiss at midnight. He's all over her, but good girl there was no putting out on the first night. So after this they txt and then all of a sudden nothing! He told a mutual friend that he isn't interested in a one night stand and wants to settle down blah blah blah yet because she didn't want to go home with him apparently that means she is only after a one night stand!!! Make sense man!!!!!

Her second date................... A friend she has known from years ago, they arrange for him to come round on a Saturday night, food, alcohol and he will be staying!! Now normally when you have been flirting with a guy, then you arrange a cosy night in with alcohol and for him to stay over, that can only mean one thing! Well they have a nice evening, drink, have fun and then he gets into her bed.............................. fully clothed!!!!!!!!! Yep thats right, facing the opposite way, fully clothed with no sign of the jeans coming off even when asked!

I don't get it? If you don't want to get it on with a girl, why show all the signs that your going to be making her Saturday night and then nothing!

We have both been seriously single for way to long! I have loads of weddings to go to this year without even so much as a sniff of a plus one on the horizon. We are both pretty attractive girls, good jobs and independant, yet nothing! Perhaps our standards are too high, I just do not know why our love lives are so tragic. If you know where we are going wrong please feel free to advise, all comments greatly appreciated!

Welcome 2011, goodbye 2010 the worst year on record!

2010-12-27T08:01:00.000-08:00

Thank F Christmas is over with, I bloody hate Christmas at the best of times but when your single it's even worse! The only thing good about Christmas is the time off work, the alcohol I can consume without anyone moaning at me about it and seeing my little boy's excited face when he realises Santas's been, then laughing at the confusion on his face when he is trying to work out just how Santa got in.

This December we have faced snow, ice, bitterly cold winds and God know's how many virus', just to top off the shittest year on record!

Well everybody, all that is about to change! 2011 is almost upon us and I HAVE to make it my year! If it turns out to be as crap as this year there won't be much point stepping out the front door each day, and I think I may even voluntarily get myself a booking in a room with padded walls!

Let's look at the low points

* (end of 2009) my partner of nearly 6 years leaves me unexpectedly
* 4 weeks after this awful event, said partner gets it on with another girl
* I start out on the most horrific, horrendous, disastrous adventure into the world of dating, complete with crew and forces men galore
* Ex informs me he is going to be a dad! (as previously mentioned, with me he was the biggest commitment phobe ever and we were together almost 6 years)!
* still experimenting in the world of dating, haven't lost hope yet
* I actually meet a guy through work, young, hot, lasts 5 weeks and then boom all over!
* Then along comes Yogi, ahhhhh Yogi, well just when I thought i'd found someone who actually liked me, just over 3 months later he does a disappearing act even Houdini would be proud of!
* Ex has his baby

Now this list doesn't seem that long, but take into account that i've previously detailed nightmare dates so avid readers of the blog will know just how horrendous the world of dating has been for me, this is merely bullet points. Each revelation my ex could have delivered, he did and each one more devastating than the last, but no more. It's done, dusted, he was a huge part of my life but that chapter is over.

So i'm counting down the days, hours, minutes, seconds until New Year is upon us, i've decided to go away for the New Year and see it in with some of my bestest friends in the whole world. Girls you just couldn't and wouldn't want to be without, whilst they will be snogging the face off their husbands and fiance's at midnight, I will be staring into the bottom of my triple vodka, lime & lemonade, but this year it will be with a smile on my face knowing that nothing and no-one is going to put me back into that dark, black hole I was in this time last year. Oh, and I will also be dressed as the poisoned apple from Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs, picture that if you will!

So come on 2011 hurry up and arrive, I can't wait to hear that clock strike, to count down from 10 and to sing auld lang syne, I will be singing the loudest and smiling the most.

For the friends I won't be with on New Year's eve, you all know who you are and how important you are to me. I couldn't have got through this year without you and i'll never forget how amazing you all are. Another year of friendship and adventures awaits us

HAPPY NEW YEAR :-)

What are the chances!!!

2010-12-06T11:00:00.000-08:00

What are the odds that the next proper boyfriend you meet after splitting with your long term partner has exactly the same birthday as the ex?
On top of that what's the odds that said boyfriend dumps you on the exact 12 month anniversary since said long term boyfriend dumped you?
So that's 2 boyfriends with the same birthday both dump you on the same day 2 consecutive years running......... Billions to 1 chance of it happening....
Well I should have got myself to Ladbrokes and placed that bet because it looks like it has happened to me!!!! All I can say is JUST MY LUCK!!!!!! Oh and the lotto numbers this week will be 3, 6, 19, 21, 30 & 44!!

Now I can't confirm 100% I have been dumped but if I haven't then he has some explaining to do! He hasn't answered my texts or phonecalls and there is no reason I know of that he wouldn't be able to do so, unless something happened to him on the drive home from Scotland in the awful 'big freeze' driving conditions. But surely if something had happened to him, whoever now has his phone would pay attention to the fact it has been ringing and text messages arriving and think 'hmmmm better have a look at this'!

I'm really worried he's seriously injured or worse and I know nothing about it, but at the same time i'm also really worried he doesn't want to see me anymore :-( it was going so well so I will be a bit gutted if and when I actually get confirmation of the 'dumping'.
I got a bit tipsy on Saturday night and did phone him a few times but seriously if that has annoyed him, he should remind himself of the many early hours drunk phonecalls he has given me and I've answered every single one! He didn't answer mine so he doesn't really have any reason to be annoyed!!!!!

Why when blokes think they don't want to see you anymore, do they just seem to disappear into thin air and leave you wondering rather than being a grown up, and telling you to your face? At least it removes the worry they are trapped in a well somewhere, calling your name into the air and no-one hearing their cries for help! As hard as the words 'it's not you, it's me' are to hear it's much better than being ignored! I've said it before, men should just be honest, i've told blokes I don't want to see them anymore. It's hard but it's much better than the continuing texts or phonecalls which you just ignore but bug you that they don't get the hint!

I really do have the most tragic love life of anyone I know, this isn't me feeling sorry for myself, it's me realising that I am destined to a life of being single! I'm getting to old to expect there to be a single bloke round every corner, so I think I just have to accept this is how it's going to be from now on.
If by some miracle I haven't been dumped I will update you as and when the information comes my way! God and I've already bought his Christmas presents, what a bloody waste of money that might be!!!!!!!

One Chapter Closing

2010-11-28T12:46:00.000-08:00

This time next week it will be 1 year to the day since my ex left me, and what a year it's been!! I have to say I truly thought my life was never going to get better, but as they say things have to get worse before they get better.

The first 8 months were the worst ever, some of the most horrible events happened, things I won't depress everyone with but needless to say the saddest few months of my life. Never again do I want to be hurt like that, I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy (ok, actually I would wish that sort of pain and sadness on my worst enemy) but I wouldn't wish it on someone I simply just didn't like!

My ex continued to shock me, first he left me, 4 weeks later I discover through the wonder that is facebook he has got it on with the counter girl in his shop and then 2 months after that, they are having a baby! My ex being the biggest commitment phobe in the world made these lovely surprises even more shocking! But, and it wasn't easy by any stretch of the imagination, I can now say I'm over him!

Moving on to some of the worst dating disasters anyone has ever known! Who could forget 'the crew' I think I will be telling my grandkids about that one someday when they are looking for love advice. Granny Love Guru, that's what i'll be!

I know I have a couple of spots but I seriously did not think it would be that hard to meet someone normal! As I've said in some older posts when you stop looking for love it smacks you in the face when you least expect it.......

Now I haven't written about this one before, but I have met someone. It was on a night out with workmates from my previous job (big hello to Mr H if your reading this) and I very randomly decided to go on 'manhunt' with a complete stranger, but boy am I glad I did. This man has given me the happiest 11 weeks of this whole entire year! He's a gentleman, he's kind, he likes me for me and he makes me feel great!! Yes folks, you read it right 11 weeks!!!!!! Record!!! He's a little older than me, completely gorgeous and great arms! I've even changed my relationship status on facebook! Check me out!! That's all I am going to write about him for now......

I've just arrived home from a weekend in Butlins and whilst there I saw the other love of my life PETER ANDRE!!! What I would give to have a nibble on those arms!! He was completely amazing, brilliant and fantastic! He couldn't dance at all as he has been poorly but even without dancing he put on a superb show! Of course no concert is complete without the middle aged woman who gets a little too excited with the old sherry bottle and ends up causing a scene, she point blank refused to be removed from her seat so she ended up being dragged from it. I'm not sure but I think she might have even punched someone, the corner of the crowd she was in cheered very loudly when she was taken out, if that was my mum I would have disowned her there and then! Never mind 'call the doctor' call a bloody lawyer to arrange divorcing your parents!!!

I suppose the reason I chucked the Team Andre experience in this post was to show that I have been having fun, something I didn't think I'd ever have again. But I've pushed myself to do things I didn't do before, weekends away to watch gorgeous Pete, last weekend I was in Brighton with my gorgeous friends and all our gorgeous children. I have action packed weekends right up til New Year and can honestly say I am loving life right now.

Fingers crossed I am still saying this in the next post..........

How rubbish am I!

2010-11-01T11:50:00.000-07:00

Well how long has it been since I last posted!! If I still have any loyal readers I am sooooo sorry for being so rubbish!

I've found myself a new job, i'm no longer working with the wonderful Mr H or the fantabulous Mr Arms, sad times, but i've made a career move and am really enjoying it. Although this has left me with little time for updates as you have probably gathered!!!

I'm a bit hesistant to comment on my current love life situation as I don't want to jinx it but needless to say it is interesting at the moment, so I really do need to find other topics to talk about. What would you like to see on here?

I do have a friend who has now entered the dating scene and I plan to update the blog with her own dating disasters as and when she fills me in on them. Most recently she was worrying about her date with a country bumpkin on friday who only owned 2 pairs of shoes!!! I know men are nothing like women when it comes to shoes, but 2 pairs! Are you serious?? Further updates to follow when I know more......

I gotta get me a hobby!!!!!

2010-09-09T11:42:00.000-07:00

Right people tonight I have the found the answer!! I need to get me a hobby!!!

One of my very dear friends has finally found the love of her life, now when I say finally I don't mean she has been left on the shelf with the reduced sticker on for what would be a serious health and safety breach, she has just been a little bit picky when it comes to the men folk!!!

The place - a roller skating marathon (Believe people, believe)!! Yes she is an adult, and yes this is the truth. Happily skating along minding her own business when all of a sudden he noticed her £45 roller disco skates and it was love at first sight for both of them. Ok when I say minding her own busines, what I actually mean is she was like a meercat on wheels, almost falling over her own feet with every man that skated past!

Here we are 3 1/2 wks into her new found love of mankind and he's already suggesting consulting her when he remortgages!!

Seriously if I had known the way to a man's heart was through a pair of roller skates I would have upgraded to roller blades and been entering the skating olympics by now. However, at the tender age of 27 I feel that I may be too old to learn this wonderful sport, so I need to find me a hobby that will bring the men to me in droves, but what one?????

My new found love guru who shall be referred to only as the black widow offers me these top tips

* Make him feel more important than your friends by texting or facebooking on your phone the entire night when your meant to be out with them

* Bribe any kids involved with sweets, or fizzy drinks

* Move personal possessions into their home whilst they are out

* Persuade them they did ask you to move in whilst under the influence of alcohol (secretly you buy them doubles)

* Visit the mother in law without them!

* Spend your entire life savings on their birthday presents, when their birthday happens to be only 3 weeks after meeting!

I know where I have been going wrong, forget playing it cool, forget not scaring them off, just go in for the kill and ask them to marry me in the very first text!

The other friend who was with me when being taught this valuable lesson has suggested I enrol on a massage course, now that sounds like a hobby that could come in handy, every man likes a massage! So my future love interests you could get lucky and have me rub lots of oil into you and get those knots out!

The black widow has just piped up with pole dancing, seriously this girl is on a role! Don't ever leave me black widow, I need you to stay with me and teach me everything you know!!!!!

Your comments Gentlemen please!

2010-09-07T11:12:00.000-07:00

This post is for all you lovely men out there, ok well just men will do! I just want to know a bit about how your minds work. You see, as much as i'm not looking for love as such anymore I want to make sure that if Prince Charming does decide to pass through Plymouth and takes a fancy to this janner that I don't muck it up like I normally do!

What is it you want? Is it a good thing if a girl says she likes you, or does that scream 'needy cling on' at you? Do you like it if a woman asks you out for a drink or do you want to do all the chasing? If you start chatting to a girl is it because you genuinely want a chat as mates or is it usually because you want to get it on with her? Is asking to clarify if your dates could turn into a relationship quite possibly the worst question a girl could ask you? Why do you go quiet when your asked something you perhaps don't want to hear instead of speaking truthfully with the girl in question? Should the girl wait for you to request to link up with her and change your relationship status on facebook? (Ok that last one isn't quite as important as I haven't got anywhere remotely near as far as this stage with a man in the last 10 months but miracles do happen)!!!

There are so many unanswered questions about the reactions you men have to various different actions, and quite frankly it bloody frightens me that so many small things can put the final nail in the coffin for any potential relationship that may come my way! I am confused.com when it comes to the male species!

This post isn't aimed particularly at anyone I just want to know whats goes on in those wonderfully interesting little minds of yours! So please gentlemen give me some clues, hints, tips about how you men work, what you like and what not to do! I excitedly await your help.....

Cheats Everywhere

2010-09-01T12:32:00.000-07:00

OMG!! We read in the papers and claim to be totally shocked that the likes of Ashley Cole or Tiger Woods yet I don't know why we are shocked!! They may be very well paid sportsmen but they are human beings and after my experiences this year I know that many, many men are ready to cheat their little naked behinds off if they get the chance!

I probably need more fingers and toes to be able to count the amount of serious offers I have had from the 'attached' kind of male species this year. 'Can I come over for a cup of coffee' or 'fancy some fun' being mainly the secret code words for 'can we get it on whenever I feel like it without the MRS knowing'!!!

Well no boys you can't! I think your disgraceful, you do not know how lucky you are to have a girlfriend or wife who is crazy enough to love you! I don't want you, I don't even want to bloody well talk to you anymore, you make me sick and I've totally had enough of your slimy sexual comments! Cheating is not sexy guys and it certainly doesn't turn me on you loser! The thinking your irresistable actually makes me want to puke and it's getting boring now! However revealing all to your girlfriend or wife about how you 'want to nail me' perhaps may give me a lot of pleasure!

My advice to you gents is this.... I'm not going to stand by while you degrade us women in this way, if you continue to try it on with me I will be catching up with your lady friend and believe me boys revenge is sweet!!!!!

Me + Alcohol + Phone = Lost friends

2010-08-31T13:46:00.000-07:00

I've mentioned in previous posts that I can be a bit of a nuisance with my phone when drinking, well in recent weeks a bit of a nuisance is a huge understatement..

This last weekend was a bank holiday weekend and I had planned to go away, however plans change and so I found myself arranging to go out drinking most of the weekend! So starting with Saturday night, I went out with my fabulous ladies and drank rather alot, poor RAF man found himself being drunk called and text rather a lot, he chose not to answer!

Sunday I decided to make an entire day of it and not only did Mr RAF man yet again get abused with texts and calls but practically my entire phonebook did at 3am!!!!!!!

Luckily for me Mr RAF doesn't seem to mind (at the moment) and sleeps practically through my whole weirdo, have to ring you in the middle of the night for no reason at all, moments! In fact, he seems to think it's funny!! Bet he wouldn't if they did actually wake him up!

This serial drunk texting has now turned into phonecalls and Im losing friends! I don't know how to stop myself, but I know I have to stop, as soon nobody will be talking to me! I can't not take my phone out with me as I have to be contactable, it seems to happen even if im not that drunk. The only option is to never drink again but that just isn't going to happen so there is no point even trying!

Any ideas welcome........

Men!!

2010-08-26T13:56:00.000-07:00

Ok so there is no going back with Toyboy, that I have accepted! Even if he was gorgeous!! Moving on..........

What is it with service men and keeping you waiting!! There is a bloke, an RAF blokey who has been winding me up pretty much all year! (Well since whenever I started the blog) the blog started up our first conversation cos he liked it :-)

I met him a few years ago in a previous job, never spoke to him loads but since chatting on the wonder that is facebook about the blog and various other topics we have spoken quite regularly. Anyway yapping on facebook and msn we soon exchanged numbers so this meant texting too. Now texting and I are not a good mix when drinking and having his number led to some random drunken text nights (thankfully I haven't drunk text him anything bad, well not that he has reminded me of anyway)!!

Now this previous weekend I got quite ridiculously intoxicated and was talking to him on facebook moaning about men and him still keeping me waiting!! I've told him many times he will miss the boat in a minute as I am very successful with the love life, however all this seems to fall on deaf ears! Until now........ he actually said (and I don't remember exactly thanks to the many bottles of wine consumed) but it was something along the lines of 'why don't we go out in October, when i'm home'!! RESULT.. I then promptly passed out on the sofa and left him hanging about whether I wanted to or not! Well done me...treat 'em' mean and all that!

I think he could just be winding me up cos he wants to be in the blog, or perhaps he too was intoxicated! I don't know, I guess we will see in October!! Lol this could just be yet another wild goose chase he is about to send me on..........

Getting on with it

2010-08-21T16:13:00.000-07:00

Ok seriously for something that wasn't even 3 weeks old will someone tell my why I'm so upset?!?! I can't get him out of my head, from the minute I wake up I'm thinking about him, I even dreamt about him last night!!!

It's doing my head in, why has he had this effect on me?! I am quite a tough hardened cookie since my ex tore my heart into millions of tiny pieces so why on earth has this toyboy who I have known for 5 minutes consumed my whole thoughts over the last few days????

If someone could give me a secret key to turn back time or a reason to make him change his mind I would take it in a heartbeat?!?!? Sod being proffessional, stuff being too familiar, I would glady tell my company to poke their job if I thought it would change his mind, that's actually what this man has done to me!! Which is verging on completely ridiculous as I have known my milkman longer than I have known him!!!!!!

Im not looking for anyone else at all, I can't even stand the thought of kissing someone else as it means he won't be the last person I have kissed!!! I don't want to think of being with anyone else but him and I hate it!! I need to go find me a random and get on with it I think as this is just silly!! But I can't bring myself to consider another man, when all I can think of is him :-(

I may well become a nun..................................... or at least control myself until im over him anyway

I'm back!

2010-08-19T10:35:00.000-07:00

Well that didn't last long did it! To say i'm pleased to be back writing the blog would be lying. It's not that I don't enjoy dishing the dirt on my disastrous love life but this one I actually thought might be something a bit more than the rest have been. Well I suppose to an extent he was, I saw him more than once!!

The first bloke since my ex I can actually see myself having a relationship with and that I get on with ends it on a spur of the moment as work and pleasure have become mixed and 'everything is just getting a bit too familiar'!!

Seriously what is it with me and men!! I give up completely now, I cannot for one more minute take the hurt, the upset, the heartache and the confusion that they cause me! My ex has made my life a complete misery this year, with each revelation he delivers to me more devastating than the last! The idiots I have attempted to meet on dates either don't turn up or come complete with 'crew'! The friends that pretend to want more turn out to be nothing more than a one night stand and not friends at all!

I'm 27! Im too old for games, you either like me or you don't, you either want a relationship or you don't! It's not hard to know, all this rubbish about 'let's see what happens' doesn't bloody wash with me! If your willing to date someone then surely to god you must see it leading to more? I'm not looking to date loads of frogs, I want to meet my prince!

Message to men that read this - FOR GOD SAKE JUST BE HONEST!! I don't get why men can't just tell women what the hell is going on in their minds when they first think it. Why do they let it boil into this irrepairable mess in which nothing will change their minds?

Anyway thats my update for you all today! I'm off to go cry into my pillow and wish I had never got out of bed this morning!!!

Time to say goodbye

2010-08-13T01:10:00.000-07:00

Firstly let me apologise for being totally rubbish and leaving you all on the edge of your seats wondering how the date went!

The first date went well, as did the second, third and fourth!!! Fifth tomorrow evening, how blimin exciting! This is by far the most successful I've been all year!

For this very reason I have to end the blog for now, he doesn't know about it and I don't want to make public every detail of what will hopefully be a nice relationship.

I am currently trying to think of a new topic to write about as I have really enjoyed doing this and hearing from you with your thoughts about what a complete disaster my love life has been.

If you have any ideas about what topic I could use please let me know

Thank you for reading

Over and out............

I think I've got it!!!!!!!!!

2010-07-29T14:29:00.000-07:00

After having just spent the last 61 minutes and 45 seconds on the phone to my lovely friend Mrs T we have come up with the most fabulous first date night!!!!

I'm going to suggest meeting up around 4ish and then going to get the scary little Cremyll ferry, (that could sink at any moment) over to Mount Edgecumbe. Fingers crossed it's nice weather as I really don't enjoy it over there when it's raining!

We can get over there, have a nice drink at the lovely pub and then take a walk around and enjoy the scenery, go back to the pub, perhaps have something to eat, enjoy each other's company and then get the ferry back over to Plymouth.

Then moving on to the hoe and barbican to enjoy a few more drinks, Mrs T did suggest watching the dogging going on at Devil's point but I don't fancy chancing that he thinks it's something i'm into!!!

What do you think? Good idea/Bad idea??? He will get to see some nice places which he probably hasn't been yet and all the while gets to enjoy my wonderful yet mental company.

I do hope this post does not result in me having lots of company on this date! No need to be a stalker and follow me, for news on how it went keep checking the blog next week...........

OOOOOOOOO Date Night

2010-07-29T13:17:00.000-07:00

Ok date night with my toyboy is on Sunday!!!

Now was this a good idea to arrange it for the day after I have walked 13 miles? I don't know but as I am going away next week I didn't want to leave it until I got back! I mean, what if he met someone else while I was away? Like OMG that would just be awful!!

So, so far, I know what I am wearing, I know the day it's happening, I know I will barely be able to walk (although he has offered to push me round in a wheelchair)!!! What I don't know is what time, or what to do!!! He isn't from Plymouth so how good this date is will totally depend on me!!! HELPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP

I don't exactly have the best track record when it comes to dates (you've read the blog, I don't need to go into more detail to prove this) so I need your help!! What would a young, newcomer to Plymouth want to do? I've had some suggestions but I need more. I need options I can use come rain or shine! Day or night!

I'm not overly worried about eating in front of him anymore, he brought the whole office in breakfast rolls today and I thought I would look uber cool if I just stuffed mine down like 'one of the lads', I didn't get egg or ketchup on my top but I didn't eat it gracefully either, chomp, chomp! Come to think of it, I haven't heard from him since?

So if by some miracle after this picture of beauty he saw this morning, the date is still on I need to make it good. I await your ideas.......................

Lurveeeeeeeeeee Update

2010-07-27T11:25:00.001-07:00

Ok, I've had a few complaints about my last post. Apparently it was just an advertisment for my impending doom (which by the way is this Saturday and it's not too late to sponsor me)so I thought I would give you a small update on the dating life.

There hasn't been much going on in the love front that I can write about, there have been some meetings with various people but for some reason I can't bring myself to want to be with someone properly! Perhaps I am enjoying my new found freedom, perhaps I don't want to get hurt again, perhaps i'm just not meeting the right people? I don't know, but whatever it is, it makes for a very boring blog!

Well maybe all that is about to change!!!! Today, the hot blokes at work have somehow managed to set me up to go for a drink with quite a hot guy, all be it, quite alot younger than me!!!!!!! Now what is it with me and younger men? I really don't know, but while I can still pull them, I am not turning them down!!!

The lovely lady I work with (who is not the receptionist DH) made it seem slightly wrong when she worked out the age difference between this bloke and I would make him 13 if she was in my shoes!! I can assure you all, he is not 13 and completely legal! Not even a teenager!!! Looks alot older than he is and very, very fit!!

Now this is the first bloke who

A) I've not known previously through school, previous employment etc
B) Blind date through dating site,

I've met him once before when he came into work and I made him tea, (check me out, tea girl) so he has seen me not dressed up etc and he was still up a drink, i'm impressed!!

I've worked out what to wear thanks to the wonderful DH (if your reading this 'alright love'), that man is my love guru, if I want any advice he is who I turn to. Hot Guy is not from Plymouth and needs to be shown around, I hope i'm not just a tour guide? Where should we go people, ideas please?

How blimin exciting, bring on the Toyboy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Im getting some exercise

2010-07-04T08:19:00.000-07:00

For anyone who reads this that knows me, the title of this post may shock you! However it's true, I am going to get some exercise and attempt to raise money for a good cause at the same time.

I have been persuaded by my friends to join them on The Midnight Walk raising money for St Lukes Hospice on Saturday 31st July 2010.

Now if the name didn't give it away this walk doesn't start until Midnight so instead of spending my usual Saturday night in a pub I will be spending it walking 13miles, yes 13 miles!!! Crossing my fingers it doesn't rain and all this dressed as a lady bug too and I get to pay £12 for the priviledge!!!! Now I can barely walk to the end of my street without getting worn out so not sure how I will do but i'm going to give it a go, please pray for me. Believe it or not I am actually looking forward to it, spending a good few hours gossiping with the girls and burning a few calories off as well as blistering my feet :-)

So I'm using my blog to advise you of this event and to ask you very kindly if you would be willing to sponsor me. There is no target to reach on my donations page just whatever you can afford is greatly appreciated and goes towards a wonderful cause. I have posted the web address below for my donations page

http://uk.virginmoneygiving.com/susey

Thank you xxxxx

Where have I been....

2010-06-28T13:02:00.000-07:00

Well so much for my last post, promising I wasn't going to leave the blog just because I have decided to leave the world of dating! It's been over a month since I decided to let you all into my crazy single world, but what a month it has been!

Firstly, complete madness, my ex is having a baby! I spent nearly 6 years (on and off) with this dude and struggled to get him to hold my hand in public let alone commit! This new bird spends roughly 6 minutes with him and now they are playing happy families! Oh well, as they say 'that's life'!! I say 'I hope she bleeds you dry'!!!!

So after that little shocker, I had to face my birthday! Now most people get a little excited over that wonderful event in their calendar every year. Not me, I have actually really struggled with the idea of getting older this year. I am officially un-cool, according to my 7 year old, in fact he says i'm practically 100 im so old!!!! Yeah cheers mate!!!!! I can see the crow's feet under my eyes getting bigger and im seriously considering a bit of botox!

I have to say though my friends did a fantastic job of making my birthday absolutly wonderful! We had a lovely pampering afternoon and then a meal out in the evening. I have never drunk so much in my life and I could definately give those teenagers a run for their money in the drinking stakes that night! My old bones even allowed me to boogie like a maniac and I went to sleep when it was daylight, get on wahooooooo. Although the hangover that followed the next day did remind me I should have acted my age and just had a small sherry! We live and learn!!!!!! I was delighted to discover that in my drunken state I still managed to capture the happy memories with over 100 photo's! I am seriously camera crazy when I've had a few, much to the horror of my friends and the photo's I managed to snap of them with no make up on!

That's it from me for the moment, a few other interesting things have happened but these are currently top secret and under no circumstances can I reveal anymore. Well not yet anyway..........

Given up but still here

2010-05-18T14:11:00.000-07:00

I must apologise for the lack of posts recently, I have am now rather convinced that I will become the next Bridget Jones, actually no I can't even resign myself to that as Miss Jones the spinster got with Mr whatshisface didn't she! But do you know what...... i'm not actually bovverreddd!!! Yeah, but, no, but, yeah it's true!

In fact since I stopped lusting after everything male with a pulse that I came into contact with I have had more luck! No dates but more attention, more offers I just haven't taken any of them up.

I get my fill of male conversation at work and thats enough for me right now, if I feel like a flirt there is the hot Mr G who can satisfy this need and if I need a serious chat or a bit of banter there is the wonderful Mr Danboy H. If you want advice forget the problem pages of your favourite magazine - this guy can answer anything!!!! I've never known a bloke like it but I know if I want an honest opinion on something he is the bloke to ask! Oh I forgot to say, added advantage of having a conversation with this bloke is he too is extremely hot!

You may be thinking 'so what happens now?' 'what on earth am I going to do without this comical, well written, superbly entertaining blog' - fret no more. I will keep writing, and it will more than likely take the form of just my life, which i'm sure some might agree is quite entertaining and I have many of those 'it could only happen to me situations'

So right now i'm happy, but who knows, Mr Right may come and find me now I'm not looking but if he doesn't......... so what!

Friends with Benefits! Yes or No?????

2010-04-27T11:25:00.000-07:00

I may not be able to find a permanent man but I certainly get lots of offers from 'friends' who are more than willing to provide a service should I need it!

So is it a good thing or not to have this? Is it not a well known fact that woman are not able to have 'no strings attached fun' without getting emotionally involved and turning into some sort of bunny boiling, don't touch him girls he's mine stalker???

I think that a girl might be able to just have a friend with benefits as long as there is no real attraction there. For example, if I tried this with someone who I completely adored and practised writing my signature using their surname it's likely I would be devastated when he didn't realise I was his one true love, so I think that would be best avoided. But if I took the man's attitude of 'it's just a quick one' and didn't really fancy the bloke then surely I can satisfy a need and it's ok to do this???

Men do this and people pat him on the back and say well done, women do this and people say 'you slaaaaaaaag'.

I think it's completely wrong that women get treated in this way so guess what girls - I'm going to get me a friend!!!! I'm not going to be greedy, one friend will do, so you get all the fun but without all the hassle.

So the lucky fella is........Mr long time ago crush, yet still very hot man !!! Ok I know the name needs work but it's really difficult trying to think of a mysteriously cool name for each man I write about on here!!!

The man in question is a previous work colleague who I don't think has smiled once in the 8 years since I met him. I used to have quite a crush on him, he's very hot but was never interested, however he has now realised the error of his ways and is more than willing to please (on a purely fun basis of course).

Perhaps now I won't be looking, Mr Right will come and find me. So forget looking for love ladies and let the games begin............

Apologies

2010-04-25T13:54:00.000-07:00

Apologies for the lack of blog posts recently but I made the decision to stop looking like some stark raving lunatic 'bridget jones' spinster and wait for Mr Right to find me.

In my previous post I mentioned that something else might be on the horizon which I was quite hopeful about but it turned out to be yet another total let down! I returned to my comfort zone of the younger man and he turned out to be a bit of dick! Although he was quite a bit younger than me so perhaps maturity has not yet hit him.

This was the reason I decided to leave the dating scene alone and see what happened.

I've had a few emails on the website which I have looked at but nobody who would float my boat, honestly sometimes I look at these profiles and wonder why on earth they think I would be remotely interested in replying to someone who has written that they want a little bit of naughty fun!

I am however still keen on the speed dating idea and will be attending one on the 15th May which I am very excited about.

On a very different note, some of you may be aware that there is a promotion running with Cadbury Flake to win Benefit lipsticks, I would like to mention that I have bought 2 of these promotional flakes and rather excitingly won 2 lipsticks!!!! Much to the frustration of my fellow blogger 'The Un-working Girl'! I will be wearing one of the colours to the speed dating in the hope they bring me luck :-)

The Webcam

2010-04-11T14:12:00.000-07:00

Where do I begin!!!

This happened just over a week ago but I wasn't sure whether to put this on the blog or not as I still can't quite believe it happened myself.

I don't give my personal msn address out to just anyone and believe me on the dating site practically everyone asks for it straight away!! But I had been chatting to someone on there for a while and thought it was ok to give it to him!! WRONG!

We start a conversation and then all of a sudden an invitation to talk on webcam comes up. I don't have a webcam but you can still see the other person without it, stupidly I accept. Instead of seeing a pretty face before me I get........

A gigantic mans genitals staring me in the face!!!!! Yes ladies you did read that correctly, this huge penis was just there in front of me. I could not believe it, but to top it off a hand then appears and well I don't think you need me to explain what happened next. I switched off before I could be disgusted anymore, blocked, deleted. Utterly disgusted and afraid to chat to anyone again!!!

I mean seriously why would someone do that!! I actually felt like I had done something wrong just by seeing it. Why would a man who had never met you before think that is a nice thing to do!! He couldn't even see me so god only knows what he was excited about. Rude, rude man.

I think the dating site is being well and truly left alone now!! Stood up and now perverts.

Besides something else might be on the horizon but I'm not writing about that one just yet........

Fanny Vs Spankey

2010-04-09T16:14:00.000-07:00

Well I haven't had any dates nor have I attempted speed dating yet but I thought an update was due.

I haven't mentioned this yet but my alter ego is Spankey McFarlene and I do now have a partner in crime! In the form of Fannny Craddock!!!!

She's not actively seeking a man (like me) but they can't seem to help fall over themselves for her! Seriously she can go out baby sick all over her, hair unwashed and still manage to have a gorgeous hunk falling at her feet!!!

Well of all the lucky blimin things that can happen to her (when she's not looking obviously) - baby's in bed, glass of wine in hand and pj's on, but the fire alarm in her building goes off! She grabs the baby and her house keys, sticking to the rules of not grabbing anything else (on a lighter note I would have grabbed more, like GHD's, make up, and decent outfit) waited outside and along come fit fireman!! I mean come on girls, fire = hot fireman and she didn't think to even slap on a bit of lipgloss! HAVE A WORD!!!!

Once they have checked out the situation and cleared it for re-entry she is allowed to enter the building!! Off she goes to bed!!

Can I add, she doesn't ask for a phone number, a name, a badge number - NOTHING!!!!

Clearly Fanny has learnt nothing from Spankey!!!!

Bodybag?!?!?!?

2010-04-07T08:37:00.000-07:00

In a previous post I mentioned I had received a message from someone with the username bodybag... Not the most attractive choice of names but still looked quite nice in his picture so I replied.

We chatted and I ended up going to watch him play rugby on Saturday, why on earth I thought this was a good idea I will never know!!

So there I am with my lovely ugg boots on sludging through the muddy rugby field. I was not impressed, especially as I nearly fell over twice!!!!!!
I watched for a bit and realised his team were completely rubbish!!! By half time they hadn't scored once and I left before I froze in the position I was stood in.
I did let him know I was going and we continued to chat for most of the evening.

Ok so it's going fairly well and as it's bank holiday and we are both going out we agree to meet for a drink!! Not an all night drink as were both out with friends, just a quick hello etc...

Well I turn up with my mate and he is sooooooooooooooooooooo unbelievably drunk!! I mean shouting ugg type noises with his rugby mates at the top of his voice sort of drunk. His mate also took it upon himself to abuse another woman in the beer garden, 'you slagggggg' was one of the nicer comments he used!! Brilliant, I'm on to another one here with a 'crew'!!!!

Anyway we both move onto different pubs and end up meeting again in the final place we go to. We didn't argue, got on ok but left separately (obviously)

I wake up the following morning to 10! yes 10 missed calls from him!!! Blimey was he in trouble? Was he being attacked? No he just wanted to talk apparently!!!! At 3am in the morning!! He is lucky I didn't wake up and answer, I would have been the one doing the blimin talking I can tell you!!!!!!

It would seem that my inability to answer his drunken phone calls has made him decide not to talk to me at all???? I really have no idea what happened but it's all gone to pot and he hasn't txt, called etc.

Was it unreasonable to not answer the phone at 3am??? Should I sleep with the phone right next to my ear, turned up to full volume just incase someone should ring me and confess their love?????

Perhaps it is because I didn't follow the dating advice I was given in work and put out???

I have no idea but another one bites the dust!!!!

Speed Dating

2010-04-02T12:50:00.000-07:00

I am seriously considering attempting this, I mean let's face it, things can't get much worse!!

At least I am guaranteed not to be stood up, but do I really want to swap blokes 15 times in one night??!?!?!?!?

I guess its a good idea, I mean if you really can't stand the person at least your only stuck with them for a few minutes.

If it's an actual date and it's not going well you spend ages trying to come up with a good excuse to leave, or praying someone will text or phone you and you can say 'OMG, I have to go, really sorry. I'll call you' and then run as fast as you can away from them, pressing delete contact on your phone as you go.

On the other hand, if speed date number 1 is hot, friendly and your 3 minutes go very well. Why spend another 2 hours of your life you will never get back chatting to 14 other men you really don't want to?

Have any of you ever done this? If so let me know how it went for you.

Date 6

2010-04-02T12:47:00.001-07:00

You may have guessed by the lack of post that the date didn't go my way!!

Mr Hot Navy man stood me up for a third time!! When I say stood me up, it wasn't me waiting at the bar like a loser with no idea whether he was going to turn up or not. But it was almost as bad, I was there and then got a phone call from him!! Apparently only just finished work!! Whatever!!

Honestly men are unbelievable!!

Strike 3 mate - no likey, no lighty. I've turned mine off now!!!!

Onto the next one.......

It's like buses

2010-03-29T12:14:00.000-07:00

The minute you get one email, you get loads!!

So after bodybag who actually was quite pretty I might add....

I had another, I opened it and it simply said 'hi, your gorgeous' very kind of him to say so but if I had replied I would have wanted to say 'hi, your not!'

Ok, maybe the next one will be better

"hi, nice profile.... stop by mine and say hello x" how about I stay on the bus and miss that stop!!!

I don't think I am even going to look at the site for the next few days. I am way tooooo over excited about Mr Hot Navy man, its still all on and the time, place etc is arranged. Keep your fingers crossed for me..........

You have mail!

2010-03-29T11:28:00.000-07:00

wahoo the blog is attracting readers as I found out in work today.

One of the blokes was quite intrigued who the hot men in a previous post were, I laughed it off and was then totally let down by one of the said hot men and he also gave away the name of Mr Arms!! Thanks for that!!

Anyway just for you (you know who you are) I thought I would write a small addition to the blog partially dedicated to the wonderful advice you gave me earlier. This is yet another hot man at work who gave me his wise words of wisdom

"you just have to dangle the carrot a little and not let them eat the whole thing"

Now I think this man seems to know a thing or two about women and i'm inclined to listen to him (even if he is the biggest wind up merchant you will ever meet), but in all seriousness I think he really knows his stuff. Just to add if you read this, dating advice is the only thing I will ever listen to you about NOTHING else!! lol

Moving on, I came home tonight to see an email from the dating site letting me know I have new mail. Hmmmmm i'll take a look, not arranging anything else while I'm meeting Mr Hot Navy man but decide to just see what I have been sent.

I log in, the username of this person was........ bodybag!!! Need I say more!

Mobile Phones should be left at home!

2010-03-27T04:26:00.000-07:00

Hang on I was at home!! Ok then they should be turned off whilst still sober and hidden somewhere you will forget when you have reached the drunken point of wanting to confess your love for someone!!

Last night I had some of my lovely ladies round to have a few drinks, put the world to rights and say how much we love/hate the men folk.

Well I discovered the wonder that is Amaretto & coke!! I also discovered this drink enables me to divulge various feelings etc to people that really shouldn't be in the know.

Without going into too much detail I had a rather drunken conversation with a particular somebody and I don't remember a great deal about it but I'm pretty sure I said some things I woke up this morning feeling very foolish about. Now if i'd listened to myself and hid the phone I would have not been able to answer the call. But no, I ignored my own advice and thought I knew best!

I have sent a text this morning apologising for my drunken state - I've heard nothing back.......

Potentially date 6

2010-03-26T05:42:00.000-07:00

OMG just when I am starting to think that all men are disasters and there is no hope Mr HOT navy man emails me. Now girls I don't just mean HOT I mean premiership footballer lookalike hot.

I actually cannot believe he has messaged me! This looks like the type of guy I would see on the website, get way to overexcited about and message only to see in my sent items UNREAD - DELETED.

But no, he messaged me! Whoop whoop

Anyway getting on with the story, he's within my age range, in the navy and proper gorgeous. We speak quite a bit and he seems lovely, even told me I was beautiful. I will be sending him to the opticians shortly!

We arrange our 1st date for the following Saturday evening. I get all worked up about it, broadcast it to everyone I know and have a crisis situation about what to wear. This is the Monday before the big day by the way!

Tuesday arrives and he texts me in the evening, OH NO!! He has to go to away with work on the Thursday and won't be back until the following Friday. There was no way I was turning that frown upside down after that I can tell you! G.U.T.T.E.D

Never mind, he is still sending me lovely texts and wants to see me when he gets back.

Fast forward to the following week....

The Saturday morning I hear from him and he wants to see me that night!!!!!!! I can't believe it wahoooooooooooo. Then an hour later I receive another message, he can't make it boooooooooooooooooo

He isn't orignally from here and had to go back home for a family birthday and he has only just remembered. What he neglected to tell me was he was up there for a week!!

So here we are nearing the end of that week, another date has been arranged for Wedneday next week so I will keep you posted. 3rd time lucky we might actually get to meet this time!!!!

Date 5 - Mr Forgetful

2010-03-26T05:21:00.001-07:00

Right I decide I need to lower my standards a bit, maybe extend the age range slightly. I've received a message from a 35 year old, quite good looking and seems really nice so I agree to a date with him.

I'm not overly excited about it, which is wrong I know but I'm just not sure about how much I will have in common with someone 9 years older than me! But I want to give him the chance, as I have said before I haven't been out with anyone older so I may like what I find.

Anyway it was date day and i'm meant to be meeting him at 7pm, I hadn't heard from him for a few days and I'm wondering if the date is still on. After speaking to one of my date specialists in work he says text him now (3pm) so I do.

I ask "are we still on for tonight", about 5 minutes later this is the reply

"Ummmm, yes & no.
I have football tonight until 830pm
So I can meet you after or at 530pm?"

Sorry but who on earth goes on a date at 530pm??

My reply was short and to the point explaining I can do neither due to 530 being too early and I have to leave at 930 to be back for the babysitter!

No reply from him!!!!!

Later that evening at exactly what should have been date time I receive a message from him explaining that he does want to meet me.

Not that i'm a sarcastic little madamme but I couldn't resist mentioning in my reply that I thought he was meant to be at football not on the computer!!

Anyway turns out he had FORGOTTEN!!!! all about out little rendeavour, how charming. So if I hadn't text him I would have been stood up for the second time!! Amazing

Needless to say I haven't got back to him about a next time

So far

2010-03-26T05:19:00.000-07:00

1st dates - Total including being stood up, deleted & drunken night out 5

2nd Dates - Still 0!!!!

Date 4 or not as the case maybe

2010-03-26T05:10:00.000-07:00

In my confusion I actually forgot about this guy, he was actually supposed to be date 2. Before I even tell you the story you can guess it went well.

Ok, so dating site, I receive a message from a guy with no picture. Hmmmm never sure that's a good start, what are they hiding?

I carry on the conversation with him anyway, he's seem nice, he's a fireman (get that uniform on wahooo) so I ask him for a pic. He sends me one, hmmm not bad at all.

Date is arranged for the following Friday, leading up to date night he's texting me every day. I always try to wait for the guy to text me first, is that the right thing to do?

Anyway I'm moving away from the story, we become friends on a well known social networking site, yay more pictures. He is actually alot hotter than I thought, wahoo.

On the wednesday before I got a txt

"Really sorry, I know you have got a sitter but I've just had a call and have to work overtime, can't make Friday"

So I reply with 'no worries' however wanting to give him the opportunity to back out completly I ask if it thats the truth or if he had just changed his mind.

He said he hasn't and he really does have to work, brilliant so the date is arranged for the week after next

Then the texts stop, no reply to mine? Hmmmm what's that about, so I look on the social networking site to find he has actually deleted me!

So what happened there then?? I have no idea!!! So forget not making it to any 2nd dates this one didn't even get to the 1st!!!

Dating Advice

2010-03-26T04:54:00.000-07:00

Well 2 of the hottest guys in work , one of whom has particularly amazing arms (I have a thing about arms which I'm sure I will go into at a later date) gave me the first set of advice.

Now I really thought I knew a thing or two about dating but evidently not. Men according to these 2 don't care about much else other than a bit of naughtiness.

Firstly the goodnight kiss, if he doesn't offer then I should say 'so do I get a goodnight kiss?' Now correct me if i'm wrong but am I not opening myself up to rejection by doing this? What if he says no, how embarrassing would that be!

Me - So then, how about a goodnight kiss?

Him - No chance love, on your bike!

Not sure about that one

Secondly if I 'put out' on the first date I'm guaranteed to see him again!

Now I thought that if I did the deed straight away men would lose all respect for me? So your comments please, is this the case or not?

I believe one of the descriptions from mr arms was "yep, do it straight away, with me no messing just out and out carnage"!!!

Personally that statement actually scares me a little, not sure carnage was on the agenda when I started thinking about moving on.

The following day some more advice from 2 other men in work, one of whom is my boss, total opposite, according to them I should defintely not even consider that on the first date. Also when deciding what to wear, black should be avoided as it's the colour you wear to a funeral!

More confusion.

So now I'm left with a total dilemma, who's right? Who's wrong? I'm hoping I will get some advice from you guys before the next date otherwise I could be in a tricky situation attempting to decide on my own.

Mr Army continued

2010-03-26T02:49:00.000-07:00

Ok so Mr Army man is on r&r for 2 weeks, I speak to him a couple of days after that night.

Me - Hey, what a great night saturday, do you fancy meeting up before you go back

Army Man (took hours to reply) - Yeah it was a laugh, not sure what I'm up to yet but if I get some free time i'll let you know.

Not quite the answer I was looking for, as it turned out he went back never to be seen again... letdown

I'm sure my kissing wasn't that bad, my breath didn't smell and he had a 2nd kiss so what was it? Don't think i'm ever likely to find out either, needless to say I was very disappointed over this one, very hot, very nice guy. Ok, not nice enough to see me again but still a nice guy.

Hmmm I think im going to give up on men soon, I just don't understand them. How cool does a girl have to play it? How much or how little do they want?

I ask the men in work what a girl should do on the first date.......

Scores on the doors

2010-03-26T02:48:00.000-07:00

1st Dates - 3 + drunken night out

2nd dates - 0

Saturday night

2010-03-26T02:41:00.000-07:00

Ok, so i'm dolled up to the nines and out with some girlfriends. We are in a well known pub in town and I see HIM!! OMG what do I do, do I go and say hello? Do I walk around nearby in the hope he will see me, come running over and kiss me passionately?

No I decide to go and dance like a raving lunatic by myself! My friends don't do dancing and so I took it upon myself to show them how fun it was to dance by yourself, showing off my rather glamourous drunken moves! Ha

After working up a rather attractive sweat on the dancefloor and drinking several vodka's I go to the bar for another. Then... there he is, right beside me at the bar. Ahhh what do I say? As it turned out the conversation consisted of "hey, how are you?" then he promtly kissed me. Result! Fireworks, earth moving all that stuff, then my mate comes over to tell me she's off!

Mr Army man - disappears

I continue my night ending up in a nightclub dancing with my best mates brother, so drunk were we that the baywatch song up on the stage seemed like a good idea at the time...

Just as Im about to go home Army man is right there beside me again, yay kiss number 2!

School days

2010-03-26T02:32:00.000-07:00

Im rather excited everytime I log in to find another new message from him, he's in the forces and away at the moment but that doesn't stop me getting maybe a little too overexcited.

He tells me he is home in a couple of weeks, seeing my opportunity I ask him if he wants to meet for a catch up as it has been several years since we last spoke.

He agrees, roll on 2 weeks time! I give him my number for when he's back so he can let me know.

I spend the next 2 weeks with a smile on my face, then he comes home

Can't take no for an answer

2010-03-26T02:24:00.000-07:00

You would think that the ending to date 3 would have been a clue as to whether there would be a 2nd date wouldn't you?!

Well apparently not, for the following messages we will call him Mr X

Mr X - When can I see you again
Me - I'm really not looking for anything more, just going to enjoy the single life I think (that's a nice letdown isn't it?)
Mr X - ok

Later on that day

Mr X - So can I take you out for a meal
Me - Sorry, as I said earlier Im not really looking for more
Mr X - ok

The following day

Mr X - Hi, can I take you to watch a film next week
Me - No!

How many more times?! In the end I had several more offers like this and I had to be rather blunt with him.

I thought it was women who were meant to turn slightly stalkerish and not take no for an answer. But then I guess Mr X wasn't your average bloke, I have to say I was slightly scared of rejecting him incase I was linched by 'the crew' but I had to take my chance.

In the meantime I receive a message on my account from an old school friend, who may I say is extremely hot! My luck's in wahooooo........

1st Dates

2010-03-26T02:23:00.001-07:00

1st date's - 3

2nd dates - 0

So far the single life is winning

Date 3

2010-03-25T15:27:00.000-07:00

Well didn't I feel like a prize pillock stood at the bar of an almost empty pub with only the 90 year old regulars using the bar to prop themselves up to keep me company.

After this last nightmare of being stood up, I wasn't so sure about carrying on with this dating malarky but I don't want to end up a spinster so after a few days I logged onto my account on the dating site. Excellent I have some messages, after speaking to someone on a few occasions I agree to a date.

We meet up, have a few drinks and quite a laugh actually. Ok, he's not really my type but still it's a fun evening. He suggests moving on, we do. I was quite drunk at this point and think that can be the only thing that got me through the rest of the evening.

We went to some back street pub and walking into it felt like walking into the film 'football factory'. Once inside I am introduced to how he affectionately referred to them as 'his crew', thinking I had misheard I said ' I'm sorry'. Once again he repeated it, OMG he's serious!! The crew even came complete with a little minature Noel Gallagher wannabe, who even spat on the floor for me! Make no mistake 'if the crew diss me, he'd chin em'! My hero!!

He asks what I want to drink "double vodka, quickly please"!

A little later, mini Noel even kicks off so much he gets chucked out, I think my date was even going to put on the little show of chinning him for me until he could see I was totally unimpressed. 'I'm off to the loo' I say, observently he says "your not coming back are you" "NOPE" and with that Im away.

Date 2

2010-03-25T15:24:00.000-07:00

I was stood up!!

Date 1!!

2010-03-25T15:12:00.000-07:00

Ok so first big decision is what to wear.... after spending the previous Friday at my friends trying on all her clothes I finally decide on an outfit wahoooo. Then change it on the night!

I'm meeting him there and turn up fashionably late - well 3 minutes, that's ok isn't it??

As he comes towards me, he's not as hot as I thought he was!! OMG what am I going to do??? Don't get me wrong, looks are definately not everything, however there needs to be some sort of physical attraction doesn't there. There definately wasn't!

So anyway I can't be rude and we go inside to eat, I can't look him in the eye!! What do we talk about?? Phew we've ordered, ok lets fill some gaps while we are waiting for the food. ummmmmmmm, ahhhhhhh, hmmmmm oh dear, not going well. Yay the food's here.

Brilliant, now he starts a conversation. I have a mouthful of food and he wants to yap!! So in between avoiding dribbing sauce down my chin and not spraying him with a mouthful of food I politely answer his questions. How long have you been single? How olds your child?? What do you do for a job? etc, etc... Oh look, foods gone, conversation stops!!!

Rather uncomfortably the bill comes - DATE OVER!!

I come home and receive a text, without revealing too much he thought it had gone extremely well and wanted to know when he could move in! Number deleted!

Welcome

2010-03-25T14:34:00.000-07:00

Hello and welcome to my blog. The blog will detail each date I arrange, have and how they go. So far I haven't got past the first date with anyone!!!! Now you will see there have been a few dates over the next few posts, this blog has only just popped into my head so am updating you all on my dating disasters so far.

I had no idea the dating scene was so hard, at the tender age of 26 I thought I was still in my prime but it would appear not. Normally I like to go for younger men, however I want all reminders of my ex to disappear so thought I would go for a total change and try, for once in my life 'the older man'! Now when I say older I mean my age or perhaps up to 30 so im not pushing myself too far out of my comfort zone. However it would appear that it's not that easy.

When I first split up with my ex, somebody I worked with at the time could not understand why I was so upset but then came out with the classic line "well I suppose it must be hard, at your age there isn't many single men around anymore is there"!!! Charming!! Needless to say I no longer work for this company, but it would seem she was actually right!

I left this company knowing that my new job had only 2 other women in it and the rest were all men. 'ideal' i thought, there's bound to be a hot man waiting for me. WRONG!!! Don't get me wrong there are lots of hot men there's just not one single one!! Not one of the men I work with is detached!! Can you believe it!

So my next step.. a dating site...........